Everyone's Morning After
by catlover55
Summary: A pity party turns into a real party which in turn becomes a huge party. Excessive drinking results in foolish actions, some of which are on tape. This results in subterfuge. NO LEMONS.


Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Naruto at all (except for my cute little leaf headband and my Rock Lee plushie, please don't take them away from me squeezes Lee plushie) 

A/N: No sex in this fic, I promise to you up and down, okay? See, no part of me is crossed, fingers toes, hair, eyes... you can trust me, no sex. I totally went to a party college, so I have plenty (you hear me? PLENTY) of experience with these kind of happenings. I hope this entertains you the way the lives of my collegues entertain me.

* * *

It wasn't a very busy this morning at Konoha's hospital, but Sakura noticed that Ino was behaving exceptionally worn out. Ino had been keeping to herself, sitting down if at all possible and hanging off of counters and beds when she had to walk. Needless to say, Sakura was very suspicious.  
Suddenly, Ino was approaching her. Ino was making an effort to look composed now. As she now stood before Sakura she looked left, then right, then back to face Sakura. 

She spoke, "Listen, Sakura... you're a um... medical ninja, right? So... I was wondering..." Ino went silent for a minute, clearly nervous.

"Ohmygod, is Ino pregnant?!" was all that Sakura could think...

Ino swallowed, "I was wondering," she repeated herself, "just off-hand, if you... would know anything about..." She looked both ways once again considering whether she wanted to continue speaking... "If you would know anything about, and I'm not saying it's for me... or even for anyone I know, just um... curious from a... scholarly perspective..."

Sakura was struggling to contain her anticipation for Ino's dirt.

"If you knew anything about removing tattoos..." Ino finally finished the sentence.

"Where is it?" Sakura was thrilled that her rival had done something so foolish.

Ino took a deep breath and after a few seconds she answered, "it's on my...mmmm..." only murmuring the location.

"On your mmm?" Sakura repeated the question.

"It's on my...mmmm..." Ino faltered again.

"On your what?" Sakura asked.

"It's on my butt, okay?!" Ino whispered slightly louder now, turning red in the face.

"Can I see it?" Asked Sakura.

"God, you are some kind of pervert aren't you, forehead girl?" Ino sighed and turned her back to Sakura and pulled her pants down partially, to show Sakura, then very quickly pulled them back up.

Ino's face was now totally red.

"Oh, it's cute..." Sakura commented softly, taking a break from being a jerk about it. "Funny, I didn't know we had any tattoo parlors in Konoha..."

"We don't..." Ino looked down at the floor, her eyes were now obscured by her blonde hair.

"Then... how did you get a tattoo?"

"Sai did it! Okay!?" Ino burst out and started walking off, flusteredly.

**Flashback: April 25, 06:23, Kurenai's house**  
_Ino's head was buzzing and her stomach felt sick, and strangely enough she had a sharp pain on her bottom. She was at a strange house, it was messy, not in a chair, closer to being on the floor. She was contained in someone's lap, there were arms around her... male arms... startled, she turned around... Sai! Sai was asleep, holding Ino! She manuevered herself carefully to look down her own pants and there it was, the tattoo... Ino vaguely recalled it happening. She unhooked Sai's arms and stood up, getting an entire meter away from him. Her heart was pounding. She saw Sai open his eyes and look up at her dully, "Sai... I..." her voice was frozen inside her throat... she had no idea what to say to him... "I... have to go to work now..." she choked out before running from the house..._

Sakura grabbed Ino's arm, "When did this happen?"

"At the party, last night..." Ino wriggled out of Sakura's grip but paused for a moment.

"What party?" Sakura knew nothing of a party.

"I'm surprised you don't know, considering the rest of your team was there. It was a Kurenai-sensei's house."

"_Naruto _got invited to a party which no-one even told me about?" Sakura was getting mad now.

"Oh why don't you take a chill pill? It wasn't the sort of party with invitations. It was a really spontaneous get together that developed into a party, which developed into a gigantic party..."

"Where was I?" Sakura asked no-one in particular, getting frustrated.

"I don't know, plucking your moustache probably." Ino snapped at Sakura. Being hung over, she was even less patient than usual.

Sakura did not get angry at Ino for the moment, although Inner Sakura was on a rampage. Very maturely she replied, "Well, I'll see what I can find out about getting it removed, does it still hurt?"

"It's okay, don't worry about it too much..." Ino replied, giving a smile of thanks.

Without warning, Sakura spanked Ino as hard as she possibly could right where the tattoo was. The sound of the slap reverberated all the way down the hall where Tsunade-sama just happened to be, around a corner.

Ino fell to her knees screaming. "You bitch!" Ino howled in pain.

Before the two could do anything to escape, Godaime was upon them. "Sakura!" she began in a stern voice, "You seem to be going through some kind of adolescent phase, and while that's okay, this is a professional setting so you must stop sexually harrassing your co-workers!"

Sakura turned bright red and bowed, "yes, master..."

"Ino!" Godaime continued.

Ino cowered.

"Am I to understand that you are hung over at work?"

Ino answered only with silence, still on the floor, she kept her head low.

Godaime repeated the question, sounding even more stern this time, "Yamanaka Ino, did you come to work hung over?"

Ino was shaking, "Yes, Tsunade-sama..." she answered meekly.

"Poor thing..." Tsunade sounded kind all at once, and lifted Ino off of the floor. "Go lie down in the back until you feel better..." Clearly, Tsunade knew the pain of a hangover well. The two walked off, leaving Sakura standing alone, dumbfounded.

* * *

About that time, Naruto was waking up in his own home. The light pouring through his windows was becoming unbearable. He slowly got up from his bed, feeling strange. He realized he wasn't in his pajamas... in fact... he was wearing a dress! He ran over to the mirror, he was wearing make-up too! Girl make-up, but crazy-looking, worse than the picture he took for the yearbook at academy. 

Naruto let out a loud scream as he ripped off the frilly pink dress and threw it on the ground.

He reached into his pants pocket for a hankerchief to rub the make-up off but discovered something else. It was white and lacy, not something he would own, he unfolded it.

He screamed yet again and threw the object down when he realized what it was: panties! On closer inspection there was something written on them: a phone number and the words "call me".

Naruto decided to deal with the situation mentally later and get this horrible goo off of his face. Before he could reach the bathroom, however, there came a knock on the door.

Naruto hid the panties in a drawer and smudged the make-up with his sleeve before nearly yanking the door off of its hinges.

Naruto found Konohamaru standing on his doorstep grinning widely.

"What?!" Naruto demanded.

Konohamaru's grin faded as he saw the dress on the floor and Naruto's face, which looked like it had lost a battle with a paintball gun.

Konohamaru pulled himself back together and drew a stack of pictures from his pocket. He held the stack up for Naruto to see. The top photo was of Naruto passed out in a frilly dress and make-up. "Naruto nii-chan, if you don't want these to get out then you better..."

Naruto cut him off, "Huh? What are these?" He reached down and grabbed the thick stack from Konohamaru and held it above his reach as he flipped through the pile. After his picture was a picture of Kakashi-sensei playing a guitar with Kurenai in his arms, the picture after that was of Shino and Ten-ten locked in a kiss...

With an amazing jump, Konohamaru recaptured his photos, "hmph, so you're not going to pay me then..." Said Konohamaru.

"Oh get out of here, I don't have time to play with you today..." Naruto grouched.

"Fine, but you'll be sorry!" Konohamaru shouted as the door slammed behind him. He had plenty of other business to take care of this morning anyway.

* * *

Elsewhere in Konoha, specifically the Hyuuga compound, Hinata was just starting to wake up. Something was strange though, she wasn't in her own room. She was in the den, and Neji nii-san was watching her. She bolted up quickly even though she wasn't feeling quite right. How did she get there? She vaguely remembered being at her sensei's house the night before, she could remember drinking a bit because she wanted to finally talk to Naruto-kun... 

"If you're wondering how you got back here," came Neji's stern voice, he had his Byakugan on, with all the creepy veins sticking out in his face, this was not going to be good, "Kiba carried you back here..."

Hinata panicked. What would her father think? Who all knew that she had been out late drinking last night? Was it just Neji or...

"I notice the terror in your eyes," Neji stated coldly, moving closer, "what did you do last night I wonder? Could it involve a boy? Obviously it did or you would have started shaking just now..."

He was within mere inches of her face now, Hinata didn't even remember what had happened entirely, she prayed that Neji wouldn't find out before she did. She bit her lip, "Did you tell anyone, Neji nii-san?"

Neji was silent, growing even more intense. For a moment they stayed locked in that intense silence. Hinata felt that her heart might break free from her chest if it continued any longer.

"Should I have?" Neji finally spoke, not breaking his intensity.

Hinata shook her head back and forth vigorously.

Neji turned off his byakugan and walked toward the door. "Perhaps you should stay home today, Hinata-sama." The door shut behind him.

Hinata exhaled and fell back down where she had been lying. That was bone-chilling.

* * *

Konohamaru panted while hiding in a tree. This morning had not gone as smoothly as he would have hoped. In fact, it hadn't been profitable at all so far, only terrifying. He'd been shrugged off, stared down, chased, attacked, cursed out, pelted with garbage... he didn't want to remember it all anymore. His most recent target had been that bug guy, he still felt that guy's icy gaze on him... He shuddered before jumping out of the tree and heading toward Ten-ten. 

Ten-ten was slouching up against another tree, looking very tired. Konohamaru swallowed, still daunted by his other attempts this morning.

"I may have something of interest to you," Konohamaru said while approaching her. He pulled out the incriminating photograph of her.

"You were spying on me! Why you little--" Ten-ten stood up straight, running on adrenaline.

Lee who had been sparring with Gai a few meters away was momentarily distracted by this yelling and was sent flying into a nearby tree by a hard kick to the face from Gai.

"Ten-ten, there's no need for such langu..." Lee started but quieted down immediately and stepped back when he saw Ten-ten's expression.

Ten-ten pulled out her giant scroll and bit her thumb so hard that blood gushed unceasingly. "KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

"Ten-ten seems to be feeling better..." Lee commented dryly. "Ah..." agreed Gai.

Konohamaru trembled as a large sickle on a chain appeared in Ten-ten's hands.

Just then, Neji came walking up. While he was still at a fair distance Ten-ten hissed, "you better run, you obnoxious little maggot, and if I find out anyone has seen that photo you are dead. You hear me? Dead!"

Konohamaru didn't need further warning, as soon as he could move he bolted off.

Neji watched as the youngster bolted past him, the wind from his speed made Neji's hair fly up. Having had his byakugan on, he had read Ten-ten's lips, but he had not seen the photograph.

Neji did not say anything about the incident as he reached the others. There was a tremendous pause as everyone watched him to see what he might do. "Let's begin," was all he said.

Ten-ten nodded and began summoning weapons and all resumed their training. Still, it wasn't quite right. Neji and Ten-ten looked very intense. Ten-ten was barely standing up but giving her all, Lee was every now and then looking over and getting sent flying, which resulted in glares from both Ten-ten and Neji.

All this went on for about an hour and a half until Ten-ten suddenly stopped. Neji turned around just in time to see Ten-ten crawl into a bush and vomit.

For a moment all training stopped and all eyes were focused on the kunoichi. For her, the shame was unbearable. "Neji... I'm sorry..." was all she managed to say.

"Let's just cut our training short today, Ten-ten. I have other things to take care of today anyway..." Neji's voice showed no emotion, no sign of what he might know or what he might think about it.

Ten-ten wiped her mouth off with her wrist and stood up, still hanging her head. "I understand..." She said softly, tears beginning to flow.

Neji walked off.

"Neji..." Gai said, reaching out his arm and then letting it drop as Ten-ten walked off as well in another direction.


End file.
